Temptation can take many forms. Whether it’s coveting thy neighbour’s wife, garden, family or haircut; nothing pierces the heart quite like that longing feeling when you want something you know you shouldn’t.
At FTA, that something is biscuits.
If you were to open one of the cupboards of our kitchenette, you would realise that I am not kidding. Neatly stacked inside is packet upon packet of Coles brand chocolate biscuits. Dare I say, they are better than Tim Tams.
I’ll give you a second to pick yourself up off the floor after that earth-shattering admission. And I really hope that you won’t think any less of us. But they honestly are.
If a David Attenborough-esque documentary was to be made, forever committing the FTA offices to the silver screen, there are certain patterns of behaviour that would become apparent: the hovering by the kettle; the sideways glance to see who’s watching; the stealthy slip of the hand into the biscuit tin; and finally, the backflip and fade out. This happens so fast, it’s barely visible to the naked eye. And yes, we do all backflip out of the kitchenette.
The burning, unspoken question remains: how often is it socially acceptable to go to the biscuit tin in one day? Once? Twice? How spread out should these visits be?
I’ve come up with a useful solution: grab handfuls of biscuits so you don’t look like you only turn up at work to create crumbs. Not only does it save you the walk of shame, it also means you rarely have to emerge from your office and interact with others. I mean sure, you end up with melted chocolate on everything in a 50 km radius, but at least you’ve kept your dignity…right?